This month of love at The Isaac’s Journal, we are doing a series and looking back on Couple’s Retreat in 2015, we’ve invited some of our friends to share what they’ve learned and how they were able to apply it in their marriage.
1st week we had JK & Sheena share what they learned about Fighting Fair
2nd week we had Joey & Bham shared about Seeking God & Never Giving Up
– Our last entry is by Francis & Anna, summing up what they have learned –
“Honeymooners on a honeymoon”, big fight led to eyeing on divorce! God to the rescue! That was quick, that was amazing grace!
Francis and I first met on 11 September 2011. It was during a common friend’s wedding reception at The Renaissance Hotel in Makati. There wasn’t any introductions made. He just appeared right in front of me and the next thing I knew he became my instant partner to one of the games where both of us were called to join. We never had a chance to know nor speak with each other during the event. It was like “in a blink of an eye”, there was a spark.
Francis is simple, shy and still is. I, however, is the exact opposite. Who would have thought that we would end up getting married on 21 December 2014.
During that very first year that we stayed together as husband and wife, it was not a mess but it was not perfect either. Here’s a big confession to make. Just two weeks after our wedding, we had a terrible fight which led us almost to agreeing to divorce. Believe it or not, it happened on our supposed-to-be “honeymoon”. But by God’s grace rescued us from the fire. As we live day-to-day, small and petty things suddenly became heavy-load burdens. It was like an everyday war-peace-war-peace scenario, as if never-ending.
So how did we ever managed to stay happy and grateful? Did we fix things? Well, we didn’t. It is only God. And I’m grateful that we allowed Him to change us and to be the center of everything in our marriage.
We were blessed to attend the couples retreat – From This Day Forward last November 2015 held at Fairmont Hotel, Ajman. Since then, we applied what we learned.
1. Seek God
Together, as one flesh, we spent time with God daily. In whatever we do, we seek God first. Whenever God says yes, then we go. When He says no, then it is a big NO and we wait.
2. Fight fair
When we fight, we lift our emotions and hurts to God. We fight the battle in prayer so as not to entertain doubts and lies from the enemy that can lead our marriage into destruction. Fighting fair is more of a lesson learned to me than Francis. I learned how to listen and not to fire back. But both of us learned that divorce is a No No!
3. Have fun
We learned to get into activities that our spouse would love to do rather than pushing on what we want. We started spending at least a “quality time” once in a while. This includes movie dates, dinner surprises, sweet chats, making faith goals and plans together, cooking for each other.
4. Stay pure
We pray together and we keep on declaring that we honor God with our bodies. In order for us to keep our hearts pure, we read the Word everyday. In order to keep our marriage bed pure, we are very transparent with each other and we avoid little foxes putting holes on our marriage. This includes wisdom especially when dealing with the opposite sex.
5. Never give up
Marriage is a covenant bound by God and not a contract between the two of us. When we are facing low and dry seasons, we focused on God’s promises and not on the obstacles. Acknowledging that God is fighting our battle and that He is our sole provider keeps us going.