Marriage – for the ones where it work, this is one of the best things in life. For the ones where it just doesn’t seem to come together, it is abysmal.
Thankfully for Candice and I, we experience the former. Not perfect (far from it actually); we have our fair share of challenges but yet through it all, by the Grace of God it’s working and we are happily married.
One of the keys to a successful marriage is not giving room for the little things that come to kill, steal and destroy the joy of marriage. It is easy to live under the impression that only BIG things can make or break a marriage. On the contrary, it’s actually the little foxes that can cause a bigger damage. (Songs of Solomon 2:15 say “Catch the foxes for us, the little foxes that spoil the vineyards, for our vineyards are in blossom). Foxes are pests that wreak havoc in vineyards; vineyards refer to our relationships (like marriage). Foxes represent some hindrances that are threatening to spoil important relationships.
Those little foxes like:
- Wrong priorities
These might be subtle at first. But over time they accumulate and explode beyond repair
How do we respond?
Create an Atmosphere of Acceptance
Over the years I’ve learnt to be open, humble and have come to terms to acknowledge the little foxes in my life. It means I may be wrong or the one “on the back foot”. But having an accepting atmosphere or humble acknowledgement will ensure those little foxes get exposed and dispelled from your marriage.
Be Quick to Forgive
Don’t be quick to judge or argue. Rather, be quick to forgive and move on joyfully together. When husband and wife fight, the only winner in those wily “little foxes”.
Change and Be an Agent of Change
Getting rid of the little foxes requires us to change our habits, language or priorities; and this is a word we all hate – CHANGE. But there is no other way, make a conscious choice to change. We must also learn to be agents to change. If it is your spouse who is need of help, be an encourager and support during the process of change. When the power of two combine, you are much stronger than when alone.
So, what are the little foxes in your life and marriage? What are you doing to shut them out of our life? How do you respond to your little foxes? How do you deal with the little foxes that get exposed in your spouse’s life?