Over the last couple of months, Candice & I have had the privilege to spend a lot of time with single folks. This is something that gradually reduced over time, especially since we got married and had kids. So Candice and I have really been enjoying connecting with these singles.
From all our interactions, there is always one common challenge that seems to engulf them – RELATIONSHIPS. The journey towards marriage and family life is unyielding, harsh and quirky.
I’m a strong believer of the truth that God’s design in marriage, the mantle of leadership is on the men. Consequently, to make a relationship work and progress towards forever, it is the responsibility for men to lead it. Needless to say, if you as a man are leading it means it is your role to protect and safeguard the heart of the ladies in your life.
So, if you are a single guy, here are a few things in my heart I would like to share with you as you pursue a future towards marriage.
1. Right Foundations
Who do I pursue? Where does a relationship start from? Friendship. From the 7+ years that Candice & I have been married to each other, one of the things that we were able to build from is a strong friendship that we shared for over 10 years now. Guys while you are still single, take the time to fellowship and build healthy, Godly friendships with ladies. After all, even if a relationship with “her” would not work out, you’ve gained a friend.
I’ve had the privilege of sharing an amazing platform that allowed me to build a friendship with Candice. We were leaders in Youth on Fire, members of the music team, shared the same set of friends. This gave us an opportunity grow a friendship where I could see we shared so many values together.
2. Know What You Want
There is nothing as disrespectful, cowardly and unsettling as “testing the water” with a woman. Before you move your friendship to a relationship, it is your utmost responsibility to be certain of what you want the relationship to become. That means you’ve prayed about it, considered whatever you want to consider and lay down your intentions towards courtship. Don’t just drop hints or say something to check how the lady would respond. Before you say or do anything to steer the relationship in that direction, you as a man need to be absolutely sure of what you want.
3. Aim, Don’t Settle
If there is one thing marriage has done to me, it is stretching me beyond the comforts of my singlehood. I’ve had to grow in my prayer and devotion life with God. It’s required me to gain a greater measure of wisdom to lead my family the right way. If you are single and serious about settling down into married life, then push yourself to become a better version of you.
When Candice and I first met, I have to admit she was the more far more stable and matured than I was. It mandated me to really push myself towards growing myself as a person (make better decisions, get a better job, grow spiritually, etc). In other words, I had to Aim for a better me, than settle for being comfortable with who I was.
So to sum it up in the words of my favorite stand-up comedian single men reading this blog, Be A Man & Do The Right Thing.
PS: If you are a single lady reading this blog, pray for your future husband that God would bless and prepare for the future. And that in the meanwhile, He would also prepare you for future. In the meanwhile, guard your hearts and remember – the chief aim of your life is to Glorify God and enjoy HIM forever.