One of the best decisions I’ve ever made was to marry my best friend & sweetheart Candice. Life has never been the same since we exchanged our “I do’s”. It has been a great journey so far. Not perfect, but one that has been utmost enjoyable. Not one without downs, but one where the high’s seem to far override the low points. Here are FIVE things I’ve learned so far about being married.
1. I Married Someone Else.
I mean this in the best way. Candice has matured so much and grown in her walk as a wife. Life’s experiences, 3 kids, increased or changed responsibilities and most of the continuing work of God in her life has made her an even more amazing person. In every sense of her being, Candice is different 5 years after being married.
2. The Power of WE & US
From early on, Candice & I have learnt how to prioritise the “WE” & “US” in marriage everyday. Even if it is not convenient US comes before ME. When making decisions it is common interests for US that we look. When united as husband and wife, WE needs to come before ME. Afterall, a house divided within itself cannot stand.
3. Love is the Only Thing to Prove
I find needing to prove I’m correct all the time as very tiring. Needing to prove I’m correct when I’m wrong is extreme unwarranted torture. I’ve learnt to say I’m sorry when I know its my fault. When its Candice’s shortcoming, I’ve learnt to tackle the issue with love. When days are spent to prove who is right or wrong in a marriage, nobody actually wins. Over time, Candice & I have learnt how to create an atmosphere of acceptance and security where its OK to make mistakes because love is the only thing we really need to show each other.
4. My Weakness, Your Strength
Among my many weaknesses, I have to admit I do not have an eye for detail. I’m more of a headline guy. My wife on the other hand is a superb eye for detail, nothing gets by her. On the flipside, there are things which is not Candice’s strengths that I’m good at. Instead of using my strengths to intimidate Candice or be insecure about my weakness in front of her strength, we’ve learnt to share responsibilities so that our weakness will be minimized and our strengths bring out the best in each other, for the common good of OUR marriage.
5. Everyday is a Decision
To love, to spend time together, to build a strong marriage, to forgive, to be considerate towards each other, to respect, to make the most of every season, to enjoy what everyday brings. It is a decision that needs to be made everyday. Candice & I had so many dreams when we got married – things we wanted to do, placed we wanted to travel, ways we wanted to spend our weekend. With the 3 kids in 5 years that God has blessed us with, Candice & I have really, really enjoyed every season. Not because the situation was right and what we wanted it to be. Rather because loving each other and enjoying our marriage is a conscious decision we make everyday.
Some days are tougher to make that decision than the others. Nonetheless, when we make that decision nothing can come in our way to enjoy this beautiful gift from God – Marriage.